Episode 46

Finding Your True Self: A Journey Through Pain and Shame to Awareness and Grace with Dr. Kelly Flanagan

Dr. Kelly has an inspiring story of personal growth and transformation. After completing his PhD, he married a woman with the same name as him, which caused some confusion for everyone, including the TSA. His ego then wanted to take advantage of his newfound identity and use it to get things. He spent a few years getting to know himself apart from his ego and discovered that he loved to write something he had never considered before. His blog went viral and he ended up on the Today Show, which led him to writing a book called Lovable and connecting with the Front Row Dads community. He realized that his ego was in charge when he was successful only 50% of the time, but made progress by learning how to participate without trying to be in control. He also learned that weaponizing curiosity can be an ego move to retain a sense of power or control. He discussed how people build an ego wall around middle school, add ego cannons in high school, and arrive at an ego castle in early adulthood.

They discuss the importance of letting go of ego and participating in life without trying to control the other person. Dr. Flanagan shares his experience transitioning from a brick and mortar therapy practice clinician to online coaching of entrepreneurs, and how he overcame the feeling of being uninteresting. He also talks about his castle metaphor for understanding the false self, and how to recognize when ego is reasserting itself. Finally, he shares his advice on how to open up and receive a moment without trying to do anything to it.

Topics Covered:

00:00:00 Introduction

00:02:00 Dr. Kelly Flanagan: A Masterclass On Ego, Emotional Intelligence, And

00:08:47 Exploring The Ego And The Soul: A Journey To Authenticity

00:12:44 Letting Go Of Judgments To Participate In Reality

00:14:20 Letting Go And Moving On

00:17:03 Controlling Curiosity: Invading Or Participating In A Child's Day

00:21:08 Exploring The Castle From 2008-2011

00:27:09 Facing The Pain Of The Past To Create A Lovable Life

00:37:37 Understanding The Role Of The Ego In Creating Opportunities For Choice

00:41:24 Exploring Inner Pain To Connect With Younger Self

00:44:43 Surrendering To Writing A Novel: Overcoming Fear And Resistance